i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
