broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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