if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
