id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
