don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
