Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
