it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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