oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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