I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
