but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
