no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
