you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
