john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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