I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
