I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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