The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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