I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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