i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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