Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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