That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
