So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
