There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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