I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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