Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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