I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
