Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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