i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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