By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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