If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
