We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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