After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
your room smells of hookers.
And success
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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