How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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