In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
