i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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