Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
