yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
