The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
