We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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