Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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