Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
