it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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