So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
