I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
