I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize