A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
