i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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