u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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