I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
