I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
