uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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