I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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