is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
