So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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