We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
