Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
