ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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