i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize